How To Train Your Brain To Welcome Constructive Feedback
September 20, 2019Stay in the know with exclusive industry news, click here and subscribe to our eNewsletter today!
Even though it can be extremely helpful, few of us like to receive feedback. That’s because there’s a phantom word that floats in front of feedback, says M. Tamra Chandler, author of Feedback (and Other Dirty Words): “negative.”
“Most of us grow up in a world where feedback is criticism, and sometimes it’s mean-spirited,” she says. “When someone says they need to give us feedback, we immediately think it will be bad. And even if it’s not that bad, we overinflate it and make it a bigger deal than it is.”
Chandler says humans are positively negative. Our brains weigh and process negative information more than positive. And our natural reaction to feedback is fear, which triggers our fight-or-flight response.
“Humans are social beings, and we see our own value through our connections and the community and the way we see ourselves in that community,” says Chandler. “In theory, feedback threatens the status of how we perceive ourselves—that others aren’t seeing us the way we think. We feel connected, and because of that feedback can feel like danger.”